{"id":7732,"date":"2019-03-25T15:07:11","date_gmt":"2019-03-25T14:07:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.apartamentomagazine.com\/?p=7732"},"modified":"2021-11-10T12:00:25","modified_gmt":"2021-11-10T11:00:25","slug":"boi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.apartamentomagazine.com\/stories\/boi\/","title":{"rendered":"BOI"},"content":{"rendered":" \t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\tTo access this post, you must purchase Apartamento Membership<\/a><\/span>.\t\t <\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\n
\n
\n\t\t\t\tTo access this post, you must purchase Apartamento Membership<\/a><\/span>.\t\t <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":7819,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[106,47],"tags":[471,477],"class_list":["post-7732","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fiction","category-video","tag-film-photography","tag-books-writing","authors-adria-canameras","authors-jorge-m-fontana","text_author-jorge-m-fontana","photo_author-adria-canameras","membership-content","access-restricted"],"acf":{"link_archive":false,"archive_story":null,"archive_bg":"#ed0000","archive_title_color":"#0a0909","cover_bg":"#ed0000","cover_title_color":"#ed0000","body_bg":"#ed0000","body_text_color":"#000000","body_captions_color":"#666666","related_bg":"#0a0a0a","related_text_color":"#000000","stories_bg":"#EDECEC","alternative_image":"","hover_image":7871,"credits":"Text by Jorge M Fontana\r\nPhotography by Adri\u00e0 Ca\u00f1ameras","title_format":"center","font_size":"medium","image_format":"cover","hero_image_mobile":null,"video":"","video_excerpt":"","video_format":"regular","content":[{"acf_fc_layout":"text","text":"Boi is a young man beginning his job as a chauffeur. While he nervously awaits his girlfriend\u2019s decision on a matter that could change their lives, he must accompany his first clients: Michael and Gordon, two businessmen of Asian origin who have come to Barcelona with the objective of closing a deal of vital importance in less than 48 hours.<\/i>\r\n

BOI <\/i>was born from REASONABLE BLOOD<\/i>, Jorge M. Fontana\u2019s short story originally published in Apartamento <\/i>issue #14<\/a> <\/i>(2014). Since then, Jorge has worked on converting his text into a feature-length film. Thanks to this close link with the magazine we\u2019ve kindly been given the opportunity to hold an exclusive advance screening tonight in Barcelona. To celebrate this special occasion, we would like to share the original text with you.<\/p>\r\n \r\n\r\nDirected by Jorge M. Fontana\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nFeaturing:\r\n

Bernat Quintana<\/p>\r\n

Andrew Lua<\/p>\r\n

Adrian Pang<\/p>"},{"acf_fc_layout":"video","video":"https:\/\/vimeo.com\/326339682","video_caption":""},{"acf_fc_layout":"credits"},{"acf_fc_layout":"quote","quote":"REASONABLE BLOOD","caption":""},{"acf_fc_layout":"text","text":"

The GPS tells me in its female voice that I\u2019m only one kilometre away from my destination, and as I enter the tunnel the radio cuts out on the best single released in 1967. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\r\n

The side lights come on automatically, and, now that I\u2019m out of the rain, I think about turning off the windscreen wipers. It\u2019s my first day as a chauffeur and I\u2019m starting to get nervous. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\r\n

Just an hour ago the company I work for entrusted me with a car that exudes luxury from every pore, and a lilac-coloured, Indian silk tie. I\u2019ve also received precise instructions about how to set out the bottles of water, the wet wipes, and a few maps and pamphlets. I\u2019m going to spend the next three days sitting here in the service of two men of Chinese origin, who I\u2019m on my way to pick up right now. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\r\n

I give up on the idea of turning off the windscreen wipers and remember that, under strict orders from my boss, I have to switch to a classical music station as soon as my clients get on board. They\u2019re here on business, and I suppose hearing that kind of music will make them feel secure. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\r\n

Twenty-two minutes have passed since I\u00a0pressed a button by chance and the driver\u2019s seat and I are getting intimate with each other with a level-three massage. Despite the massage, I\u2019m still not really feeling at home; a feeling which, for me, is vital to reach as soon as possible\u2014the very same feeling a flea must have in the circus. It comforts me to think that some human participation will help to build a provisional home. Just in case, I\u2019ve got a book stowed away in the glove compartment, La Tigresa del Altiplano<\/i> by Antoine Velcro, and behind the sun visor, a photo of a woman with her back to the camera. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\r\n

I try not to exceed the regulation 80 km\/h and not to infringe any laws. But, little by little, perhaps as an escape valve for the pressure I\u2019m feeling, I let myself be carried away by the blinking of lights in the tunnel and by the enchanting effect of the windscreen wipers. These two forces induce in me a state of inebriation and hypnosis similar to what you\u2019d get from a dry martini mixed by Luis Bu\u00f1uel.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\r\n

Ladies and gentlemen, a daydream of how the next 72 hours of my life will unfold has just got going and there are three empty seats. Make yourselves comfortable and don\u2019t forget to put on your seat belts.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\r\n

I leave the tunnel and the rain is falling even heavier. In the distance I can make out my clients. The tallest one looks like he\u2019s checking the latest app on his mobile phone, and the other, arms akimbo, seems to be sculpting clouds with his gaze. One\u2019s older than the other. One has more vices than the other. One is more nervous about closing a deal with a European multinational than the other. They need each other.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>"},{"acf_fc_layout":"image","image_size":"regular","gallery":[7850]},{"acf_fc_layout":"text","text":"

Michael and Gordon. That\u2019s what they call themselves whenever they\u2019re away from home. It\u2019s the first time that Michael has trod this continent, and he\u2019s got too many hopes invested in it. His first disappointment isn\u2019t long in coming. \u2018I thought it never rained in Barcelona!\u2019 We exchange an ambiguous glance in the rear-view mirror, I check to make sure I\u2019m well groomed and I get to thinking about the clich\u00e9 that Barcelona is a city that sees itself as a never-ending \u2018Speedo on the rocks\u2019. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\r\n

Their English accents are as mysterious as the whites of their eyes. \u2018Whats?\u2019 to port and \u2018whats?\u2019 to starboard. They love asking questions that will include a number in the answer, like: \u2018How many people live here?\u2019, \u2018In what year was Gaud\u00ed born?\u2019, \u2018How much pollution is there?\u2019 I improvise a few answers and whenever the figure satisfies them they sing out, \u2018Nice!\u2019 in unison, hanging onto the letter i<\/i> like a tightrope walker. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\r\n

Whenever I drop them off or pick them up from the hotel they\u2019re staying at they ask me what might\u2019ve inspired the architect who designed it. After a brief, again improvised exchange, we come to the conclusion that the architect was building a tribute to a woman\u2019s legs. Michael, who likes to have the last word, puts the gloss on the theory by suggesting that they are probably the architect\u2019s own mother\u2019s legs. Why? I don\u2019t know. But the bellboy, who\u2019s been eavesdropping, ends his exaggerated appearance on stage by tripping over. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>"},{"acf_fc_layout":"image","image_size":"regular","gallery":[7906]},{"acf_fc_layout":"two_blocks","block_sizes":"half_50_50","content_type_left":"image","image_size_left":"regular","image_left":7909,"video_left_url":"","video_caption_left":"","video_left_type":false,"text_left":"","credit_image":null,"credit_link_left":null,"content_type_right":"image","image_size_right":"regular","image_right":7908,"video_right_url":"","video_caption_right":"","video_right_type":false,"text_right":""},{"acf_fc_layout":"text","text":"

The dialectical complexity, on top of the pressure they add to every word, drives me to a temporary state of nervousness, which I release with sentences of this calibre: \u2018Listen, Michael. Just calm down, will you? You\u2019re in Barcelona. The people here like listening to Enya records while they take their dogs for a walk, alright?\u2019<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\r\n

I learn without having to ask that the rule in this job is interruption. Attempts at eating, reading, sleeping, looking at the photograph\u2026 Except for the sunrises and the sunsets, which I contemplate from my car, completely alone and in silence, from beginning to end.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\r\n

I take the same tunnel again, this time in the opposite direction, and I meet up with a friend from work. He\u2019s the one who tells me that the bottles of water that the company gave us contain fluorine. This is, according to his conspiracy, because they want to finish us off by making us all sterile. I think about this while I\u2019m driving and nearly cause an accident. \u2018If there\u2019s any damage to the car, I\u2019ll knock it off your wages\u2019, my boss told me. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\r\n

Michael and Gordon\u2019s plans are running smoothly and they ask me to accompany them to the city\u2019s cathedral. I tell them when it was built, to which style it belongs, and a few other details. I take a step backwards when they start to point their camera lenses at adolescent couples kissing, or famous fast food outlets.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>"},{"acf_fc_layout":"images","container_size":"container-fluid","gallery":[7907]},{"acf_fc_layout":"two_blocks","block_sizes":"half_60_40","content_type_left":"image","image_size_left":"regular","image_left":7852,"video_left_url":"","video_caption_left":"","video_left_type":false,"text_left":"","credit_image":null,"credit_link_left":null,"content_type_right":"image","image_size_right":"regular","image_right":7853,"video_right_url":"","video_caption_right":"","video_right_type":false,"text_right":""},{"acf_fc_layout":"text","text":"

Sometimes I think I\u2019ve gained a relative amount of respect and trust with them. Gordon confesses to me that if they don\u2019t close the deal with their client, they\u2019ll be sacked. And Michael reveals that he married without being in love, and that his daughter was a mistake. After saying this they bump into a work colleague of theirs, and I inevitably hear the following conversation:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\r\n

\u2018What do you call your chauffeur?\u2019<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\r\n

\u2018Come here, Chauffeur!\u2019<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\r\n

Michael is fascinated by European fashion. I\u00a0take him shopping and he rapidly finds everything he needs to be competitive. He wears his new leather jacket with the price tag showing so he can get his tax back at the airport. In contrast, I take Gordon to a pharmacy to find a remedy for his red dysentery. The chemist recommends that he go to a hospital. But Gordon, between worried and busy, opposes the idea, saying that the level of blood in his stool is reasonable. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\r\n

I take the two men to La Orqu\u00eddea,<\/i> the restaurant where I\u2019ve made a reservation for them, along with the manager they\u2019ve been dealing with these past few days. There, they manage to close the deal successfully, and they treat me to a round of celebratory karaoke. They flirt with all the waitresses at the place and, while I\u2019m in the gents, I can hear Michael dedicate and then sing a version of an Andy Williams song, while at the same time I read a sentence written in red felt-tip pen and good handwriting on the toilet lid, which says: \u2018They decapitated my grandmother\u2019s faith with a coffee spoon\u2019. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\r\n

I say goodbye to Gordon with a handshake and to Michael with a hug. In both cases, I have the feeling I\u2019ll never see them again. Not in this lifetime, at least. And just when they\u2019re giving me a big tip for services rendered\u2026 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\r\n

The GPS tells me in its female voice that I\u2019m only 200 metres away from my destination. I\u2019m getting to the end of the tunnel and I notice that it\u2019s stopped raining; there\u2019s bright sunshine and the windscreen wipers are still going, while the best single of 1967 comes back to life with the words: \u2018She\u2019s giving me excitations\u2026 Good, good, good, good vibrations\u2026\u2019<\/span><\/strong><\/p>"},{"acf_fc_layout":"video","video":"https:\/\/vimeo.com\/326339835","video_caption":""},{"acf_fc_layout":"two_blocks","block_sizes":"half_50_50","content_type_left":"image","image_size_left":"regular","image_left":7903,"video_left_url":"","video_caption_left":"","video_left_type":false,"text_left":"","credit_image":null,"credit_link_left":null,"content_type_right":"image","image_size_right":"regular","image_right":7885,"video_right_url":"","video_caption_right":"","video_right_type":false,"text_right":""}],"related_text":"","issue":"","button_text":""},"yoast_head":"\nBOI — Apartamento Magazine<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"BOI was born from REASONABLE BLOOD, Jorge M. 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