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Finding Love Online With a Disability
Let’s get loved up, after all, it is cuffing season
I’m a firm believer that any good person can find love, and that includes people with disabilities. I should know, I found my true love at 22 with the help of a dating site called OkCupid. My name is Miranda and I was born with Cerebral Palsy; I have to use a wheelchair to get around.
With the right attitude and precautions, the Internet can be a powerful tool for helping people with disabilities find love. I’m not saying everyone with a disability should use the online method, I’m sure plenty of disabled people have found a partner without it. However, if you’ve exhausted all avenues in the real world, online dating apps and websites are a lucrative option.
My Story
Throughout my dating life, I have found partners both online and offline. The majority of them were online. Why? I just find it easier that way. If someone viewed my dating profiles, they saw up front that I am disabled and can decide for themselves if they want to proceed.
I have had people in real life find me attractive, but they couldn’t deal with a disability, and that’s valid. I’ve also had people claiming they “missed out” on me because they didn’t know how to proceed with the Cerebral Palsy. And, to them, I say, “I’m sorry. I’m sure you’ll find your match.”
Online dating profiles take out all the guesswork. If you want to give me a shot, send a message; if you don’t, move on to the next profile. My partner took a chance on me in June of 2012.
The first thing that caught my attention about his message to me was that it wasn’t creepy. Disability or not, all women have dealt with their fair share of creepers online. I’ve gotten gems like “you’d look good in a bikini,” or my favorite, “I’ve always wanted to make it with a girl in a wheelchair.” That one made me shutter.
His simply said, “Hi, I think you’re really cute, and I would love to get to know you better.” Short, sweet, and to the point. My man is sometimes a man of little words.
I clicked on his profile, and it was pretty bare. It only said, “I hate writing these things. Message me if you want to know more.” I was a little turned off by that. As a writer, I’m a sucker for a good communicator, and my own profile was novel-length by profile standards. However, his message seemed so genuine that I couldn’t ignore it.
We ended up swapping phone numbers and starting to communicate by texts and calls. After a month of this, we set a date to meet in person. Did sparks immediately fly? Haha. No way.
The Meeting
The thing about me is that I get nervous around people I find attractive. And, I found him very attractive. The man didn’t even bat an eye when I asked him if I could bring a friend to the first meeting. I think all women should do this, especially those with disabilities. It’s a safety net. He even brought a couple of friends along so I wouldn’t have to feel awkward about needing someone. What a guy!
This may not feel like a big deal to some, but I had a guy go off on me once for not wanting to go alone to a bar with him. We had only met once prior! My alarms went off, and I certainly dodged a bullet after he tore me a new one for it.
Unfortunately, the first meeting didn’t go well because I clammed up. But, here’s the thing, if someone is really into you, they will make it known. He didn’t give up after that. He suggested we meet up in a more intimate setting to really get to talk. With my grandmother present, I invited him over to my apartment, and the sparks flew!
He was very kind and polite when my Gram would pop out of her room to talk to us. We bonded over Disney movies and musicals and had a great time! Ten years later, I’m living with him, and he is an amazingly loving and kind partner that helps me when I need him. I couldn’t ask for anyone better!
Conclusion
What I want others with disabilities to take away from this are a few things. Try online dating if you haven’t found what you’re looking for in the real world. It might work out for you, or it might not. What matters is that you gave it a try.
If you try the online route, don’t automatically dismiss a lacklustre profile. If I had done that, I would have never gotten all of these happy years. Give them a chance if they send you a genuine message that shows you they are into YOU and not what they can DO with you.
Finally, the sparks don’t always hit on the first meeting. After my experience with my partner, I usually advise people to give it a couple of dates before they decide to move further. Some people are overwhelmed during the first meeting and may do better the second time. I’m sure glad he stuck with me!
Please remember that your disability doesn’t define you. You are worthy and capable of receiving and giving love. It just may take a while to find it. We’re all in the same boat in that respect.
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Celebrating Inclusion in the Workforce: Disability Employment Awareness Month
October is Disability Employment Awareness Month (DEAM) in Saskatchewan. This month celebrates people with disabilities. It also emphasizes the importance of inclusive hiring practices in the workforce.
Promoting Awareness
SARC is a key organization in this effort. It supports community services for people with disabilities. During DEAM, SARC leads the effort to raise awareness. Amy McNeil, the Executive Director of SARC, highlights the benefits of inclusive hiring practices.
“Every year, more employers recognize the value of hiring people with disabilities,” McNeil said. She added that inclusive hiring practices are not just good for business; they also benefit the community and strengthen the economy.
Furthermore, SARC participates in the Light It Up! initiative for National Disability Employment Awareness Month. On October 17, 2024, businesses and organizations are invited to light up their buildings in purple and blue. This initiative honors the contributions of workers with disabilities. Interested people can contact SARC to learn more.
Importance for Rural Communities
This initiative is especially important for rural areas, such as West Central Saskatchewan. Disability inclusion is becoming vital for workforce growth in these regions. Tamara Wiebe, Executive Director of West Central Abilities, points out that various disabilities can affect individuals. These include chronic conditions like lupus and invisible disabilities such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
“Disability inclusion is not just the right thing to do; it’s also smart for businesses,” Wiebe explained. She noted that inclusive hiring practices help expand the applicant pool. In addition, they boost employee morale. Moreover, employment plays a critical role in the independence and well-being of individuals with disabilities. Companies should provide accommodations to support long-term employment.
Benefits for Employers
Wiebe also emphasizes that inclusive hiring practices bring real benefits to employers. For instance, these practices lead to higher retention rates and lower turnover. Employees with disabilities often seek stable, long-term jobs. This stability can enhance productivity and reduce hiring costs.
Creating a supportive workplace for disabled employees is essential. This support goes beyond just physical accessibility. It involves building an accepting workplace culture and providing chances for professional growth.
“Employees with disabilities offer unique insights and creative solutions to problems,” Wiebe noted. She emphasized that creating an inclusive work environment helps everyone. It boosts employee engagement and morale across the board.
Looking Ahead
West Central Abilities does not currently have individuals in the workforce. However, the organization is hopeful for future inclusion opportunities.
“We’re not there yet, but we want to help clients find jobs in the community,” Wiebe said. She added that if businesses in West Central Saskatchewan want to hire individuals with disabilities, SARC is ready to support them throughout the process.
As DEAM unfolds in Saskatchewan, there is hope that more businesses, especially in rural areas, will adopt inclusive hiring practices. This will ensure that all individuals, regardless of ability, can contribute meaningfully to the workforce and the community.
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Farewell to a Legend: Dame Maggie Smith Passes Away at 89
The world mourns the loss of Dame Maggie Smith. The beloved actress, known for her iconic roles in Harry Potter and Downton Abbey, has passed away at the age of 89. Her family announced that she died peacefully in hospital early on the morning of September 27, 2024. She was surrounded by friends and family.
Dame Maggie was a titan of British theatre and film. Her illustrious career spanned over seven decades. During this time, she garnered two Academy Awards for remarkable performances in The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (1970) and California Suite (1979). Her talent earned her four additional Oscar nominations and eight BAFTA awards, solidifying her status as one of the greatest actresses.
In a heartfelt statement, her sons, Toby Stephens and Chris Larkin, expressed their profound sadness. They stated, “It is with great sadness we have to announce the death of Dame Maggie Smith. She leaves behind two sons and five loving grandchildren who are devastated by the loss of their extraordinary mother and grandmother.”
The family also expressed gratitude for the compassionate care provided by the staff at Chelsea and Westminster Hospital during her final days. They emphasized the importance of respecting their privacy during this difficult time.
Dame Maggie’s career began in the theatre, where she first gained acclaim. She earned her first BAFTA nomination in the 1958 film Nowhere to Go. Her remarkable talent caught the eye of legendary director Laurence Olivier. He cast her as Desdemona opposite his Othello at the National Theatre in 1963. This collaboration later led to an Oscar nomination when the production was adapted into film.
The outpouring of tributes from friends and admirers has already begun. Gyles Brandreth described her as “one of the greats” and reflected on her extraordinary life and the golden era she represented.
As we bid farewell to Dame Maggie Smith, we celebrate her incredible contributions to the arts. She brought joy to audiences around the world. Thank you, Dame Maggie, for your unforgettable performances and the legacy you leave behind. Your spirit will forever remain in our hearts.
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How a Robotic Exoskeleton is Helping Paralysis Patients Walk Again
Sophie Shuttleworth, a 32-year-old woman from Newport, has experienced a remarkable transformation thanks to a robotic exoskeleton for paralysis. After contracting viral meningitis in July 2022, she was left paralyzed from the chest down and spent two years relying on a wheelchair.
In January, Sophie began using the exoskeleton during therapy sessions at the Morello Clinic, a local rehabilitation center. The device enables her to stand and move her legs in a natural walking pattern, allowing her to experience the sensation of being upright for the first time in two years. This moment was deeply emotional for Sophie, who described the joy of regaining mobility after such a long period of inactivity.
Beyond the emotional impact, the exoskeleton has provided Sophie with significant physical benefits. It has improved her circulation and bone density—crucial factors considering her diagnosis of osteopenia due to prolonged immobility. Sophie emphasized the mental health benefits as well, comparing the endorphins she now feels when walking to the exhilaration she experienced while swimming, a sport she loved before her illness.
Sophie, along with eight others who use the exoskeleton, is actively fundraising to support its continued availability at the clinic, aiming to raise £50,000 for a year of access to this life-changing technology. Each user benefits uniquely from the device, demonstrating its versatility in addressing various mobility challenges.
Before her illness, Sophie was fiercely independent and even swam 22 miles in a local pool to raise money for charity. While she continues to rely on family support for certain tasks, she is optimistic about the future. The combination of the exoskeleton and her new ground-floor apartment, designed to meet her needs, brings her closer to regaining her independence.
As she navigates this new chapter, Sophie remains hopeful and determined, believing that with continued use of the exoskeleton, she can achieve greater autonomy in her daily life. Her story not only highlights the potential of robotic technology in rehabilitation but also serves as an inspiration to many facing similar challenges.
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